bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
