I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
