It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
