i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
