Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
