they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
