My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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