I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
