You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
