You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
