wat bout pragnant strippers??
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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