i think i have herpe
just one?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
