we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
