As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize