So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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