Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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