My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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