that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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