i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
