I must be too annoying 4 u.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
