i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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