She is in my trunk
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm always down for nudity.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
