Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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