a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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