Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
