It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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