I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
