so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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