I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
