oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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