i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
