Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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