Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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