"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize