Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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