Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
no, he came in my armpit
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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