I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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