he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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