His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
