butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Randomize
