Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
