dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
