I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
