thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
