He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
