You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
false alarm. still invincible.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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