hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
