Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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