so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
