Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just tell him i said nine months
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
