it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
