It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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