Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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