i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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