Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
