he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
