I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize