Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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