Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
